The Silent B: Greedy, Lazy and Confused is a poem by Tessa Foley from her debut collection, Chalet Between Thick Ears. Its subject, being an out bisexual, is connected to many alternative club nights spent in Hampshire Terrace.

A film of the poem being performed by actor Nichole Bird can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jy2R2qVi0M&t=89s

** The Silent B: Greedy, Lazy and Confused**

We don't know what you are: door ajar, not from Mars, not Venusian maid,
Turn around, let us see that fine dress that you've worn, is that right?
Wearing white and a sash like a girl, drinking pints whilst your hair lies in dissident curls?
Put a pin on, m'love, just make it like glass so I know, head or tail?
Is you is? Is you ain't? Oh you are? But you aren't?
Tell you what, say you wink at the boys and I'll lay down my lance,
Or say you bat lashes for girls and that's fine,
But make up your mind.

I think that I get it. Epicene on the scene.
Well if it's fashion you're after, switch hitters went out with bacardi, my dahhlink,
You stink of the surface, the gasoline colours that float on the waves
You've got 69 problems, bein' butch ain't one, can you not cut your hair
And be wearing them boots? It's not real, it's a scam that you run,
Snugly sexed but you play on the swings when you feel like a fondle with risk,
Don't be a tourist, a halfblood, a mule,
And stick to one rule.

We know we can ask you, because you don't care,
Well, you demonstrate that by declaring you're both, your'e the wide open sandwich,
Picking a piece must be easy when you don't care what you put in your mouth,
North then south, it's a laugh so we'll ask you just what you like best, chest hair
Or small feet? You dance backwards and perch yourself up
On the gate, oscillate back and forth in the wind,
Don't you ever admit to fall down on one side?
Take Pride or leave it.

You can't decide to be both because that's not a choice,
You're a coward and fake however you take it and you take it often I'm guessing that's true?
For you, it's whichever kneels crossing itself in your path.
Not welcome in here, please don't lean on our bars, point to boxers or bras,
Stop straddl'ng the border between Cockshoot and Kent and roll from the
Indistinct shape in the sheets, not ashamed in the least?
You should be, Our Kid –
You're unfussy as f*ck

Tessa Foley is a significant figure in the contemporary poetry scene who is gaining a glowing reputation and developing a distinctive voice. Originally from Flitwick, a tiny town in Bedfordshire, she lived in Portsmouth from later childhood, and gained her Master's degree in Creative Writing at the University of Portsmouth, where she now works as an administrator. Published by magazines including Agenda, Antiphon, and Fredericksburg Literary and Art Review, and recognised in the Verve Poetry Competition and Bristol Poetry Prize, she won the Live Canon International Single Poem Competition in 2013. Her debut collection Chalet Between Thick Ears was launched in November 2018 at the Poetry Cafe, Covent Garden, and she has since read from the collection at several prestigious locations including the Greenwich Library, Harbour Books, Whitstable, and the Boulevard Theatre in Soho. Tessa also produced the collection Garden, with her sister, Anna Foley, as the illustrator. Garden was created to raise funds for Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service, a charity for which both sisters volunteered. Launched in May 2021, and lauded by the poet Glyn Maxwell, Tessa’s amazing new collection, *What Kind of a Bird Are You? offers ample evidence of the emergence of a considerable talent.

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